Talking to Strangers About the Dark and Light of Love

On the eve of Valentine’s Day, 33 curious strangers committed to leaving small talk at the door and enter into a world of deep and meaningful conversation on the theme of love.  

Their quest? To listen, laugh and understand a little better their fellow human. Their discovery? That they belong anywhere - all it takes is a conversation.  

Why talk to strangers about your intimate desires?

Love is more than just a matter of swiping right. It’s complex: a word that encompasses not only one’s love for a partner or child, but that of a friend, the world, an inanimate object or even the self.

And for such a complex subject too often do we turn to Google, Hollywood or a close confident to help us understand the intimate affairs of the heart.


But at Trigger we like to do things a bit differently!

See we believe that with the power of conversation you can grow a little more, understand a little deeper and ultimately, feel that you belong just the way you are.

But we don’t mean any kind of conversation. We’re talking, conversations with strangers.

So doing what we do best, Trigger Conversations invited 30 strangers on the eve of Valentine’s Day to leave their work labels and small talk at the door and surrender their whole-self to our conversation menu.

Curated by our conversation coach, Georgie Nightingall and experience designer, Derek Kirkup, the 10-course menu was designed to explore the dark and light of love.

The menu began with soft conversations-on-love-you’d-have-with-your-mum and slowly progressed into deeper topics, including more taboo subjects like polyamory, sex and BDSM. It ended – like all good meals do – with coffee to revitalise and stimulate the mind to consider how we’d like to act on our learning’s this evening.

To ensure each stranger was exposed to a myriad of different thought and character, we paired them with a new person at each course.

What was the result?

Well, we could tell you the bland response – that 100% of participants surveyed would recommend us to a friend or that we had a customer satisfaction score of 92% - but that’s not particularly interesting.

Instead, I’d like to let this one comment from a participant do the talking:

“My expectations were exceeded! So much honesty!”

So, what makes Trigger Conversations so special?

It’s simple really.

Too often we allow our labels to define us.

“I’m a lawyer” | “I’m a runner” | “I’m a mother”

When we use these labels (both to ourselves and others) we define who we are and how we must behave.

And it’s by defining that we confine who we can become.

We nip our wings and prevent ourselves from flying as high and as randomly as we dare.


When we enter into label-less spaces with strangers and explore new conversations, we become free.

We are no longer expected to act in a certain way. You’re presented with an opportunity free of judgment to be and explore who you want to be.

Oh and you’re probably curious as to what was on the menu? Here’s a peep…


Trigger Conversations on the Dark and Light of Love


- Light Tummy Ticklers -

What are the different kinds of love you have experienced?


- Getting Heavier -

 What forms of self-expression have made you feel most free? 


- Relationship with our Parents -

What do we tolerate from our family that we might not tolerate from friends or a lover? 


- Open-Relationships & Polyamory -

What would a polyamorous society look like?


- Is love a game of Strategy or Serendipity -

How has serendipity related to your love life? 


- Technology and our Relationships -

How has technology affected the depth of your relationships? 


- Sex, Masturbation and Power -

Should all forms and expressions of love be accepted in society? 


- Other Expressions of Love -

Have you ever felt more passionate about a topic, object or activity, than you have about someone close to you?

Choice of Two Cheeses

Blue Cheese

- Risqué Tasks -

Take turns to share something you would like to do with or to the other person. The other person must answer ‘yes’ or ‘ok’ to your request. (Important: No one takes action on what is said). See how it feels! Then take turns to answer ‘no’ each time.


- Playful Tasks -

Describe 3 attributes you love about yourself to your partner.


- Revitalising, Stimulating Reflective -

What aspects of yourself do you need to express more freely?